These are old articles from my Hair Journey in Words: Six Months of Napps & Beyond. As you read, please keep in mind that these articles were originally posted about 4 years ago. Although the information contained in them are timeless, some of the links and references may no longer exist. I hope that this is not too frustrating for you and that you will still find these articles to be helpful in your own hair journey. Enjoy!
Originally posted 7/2/07
Lately, I’ve gotten a few email messages from natural sisters who are feeling a little discouraged due to lack of support or ignorant comments regarding their natural hair. I have been natural for almost two years now. Overall, I’ve gotten great support from family and friends. However, I live in Memphis, TN and the natural hair scene here is growing, but very slowly. In other words, there are not very many sistas here wearing their natural hair texture. When I leave my house, I still get the “how can she wear her hair out like that” looks from people every now and then.
I wanted to take a few minutes to offer a bit of inspiration for those who are not getting any support and/or are bothered by the looks that they are getting from people. Ladies, please realize that there is nothing more beautiful than the confidence that it takes to finally tell yourself, I’m letting go of the relaxers! I know that at times you may only feel confident as you look in your mirrors in the morning. I realize that sometimes that confidence slips right away as soon as you walk out of your door. I encourage you to look inside of yourselves and radiate that confidence wherever you go. I’m begging you to challenge yourself, not that you haven’t already, to make the love for your natural hair shine so brightly that people find it hard to be negative about your hair. Once you allow that love to shine, the negativity that you receive from others will bounce right off. I promise you that it will! People will begin to look at you in a different way. Even if they do not like natural hair, they will see you walking and say to themselves, “I don’t know what it is, but there is just something about the sista”.
Ladies, it’s easier said than done sometimes, but next time you are feeling bad about your hair, lift your head up and strut like you’re the Next Top Model and I guarantee people will begin to look at you differently!
Originally posted 8/24/07
I decide to visit a beauty salon for the first time in two years. I can’t even remember what made me decide to do it. I don’t really give the cosmetologist much instruction on what I want done to my hair, I just sit in the chair and trust her instincts. As I’m sitting there, she brushes my hair out and begins to part it. Soon I smell a familiar smell that I have not smelled in over two years. This pungent smell fills the room as the stylist smooths a cool cream all over my head. Could it be a new type of hair gel?. Before long, I am sitting in a chair wondering why my head is burning like crazy. I try to think back on the last time I felt this burning sensation all over my head, but my mind goes blank.
The stylist washes my hair and styles it. At this point I reach up to feel what she has done. To my astonishment, I do not feel any naps. I run to the nearest mirror and see that my hair is bone straight hanging well past my shoulders. I burst into tears. “What the heck have you done!” I yell at the stylist.
“What do you mean? Isn’t that what you wanted?” She replies in an irritating nonchalant manner.
“I never told you to relax my hair!” I am devastated. “How can I go around and promote natural hair, when mine is straight?”
All the other ladies in the shop are confused at my anger and tears, because in their eyes my thick past the shoulder straight locks are beautiful. I stare in the mirror at two years of natural hair gone in one instant. Fresh tears fill my eyes as I try to calculate how long I’d have to wait to have this straight mess chopped out of my hair once again.
Don’t worry ladies, I have not reverted back to a relaxer. I just wanted to take a moment and share a dream, or should I say nightmare, that I had last night. Believe me when I say, I have never been more relieved to wake up from a dream in my life. I could not help but smile when I woke up and felt my beloved naps.
After two years of being natural, this is the first time that I’ve had the famous “relaxed hair” dream. Although the dream was pretty scary to me at the time, I now welcome it because it helped me affirm how much I love my natural hair. Would I ever go back to a relaxer? Based on the emotions that I felt during that dream, I can answer with happy confidence – Never!
Originally posted 9/3/07
In a few short weeks, I will be the mother of a little girl. I feel honored to have the opportunity to raise a future mother, wife, sister, friend, business woman, etc. But I often think about what I want to teach her as she grows.
The most important things that I want her to take away from our household as she grows into a woman, is a high self-confidence and self-esteem. Whether she comes out with a brown , dark or light complexion. Or if her hair comes out curly, kinky or wavy. Even if she inherits the family’s thin or chubby genes, I want her to love herself just the way she is.
When she walks out into the world, even as a little girl, I want her to have a defense against whatever society’s current standard of beauty is. I don’t want her to care if the current videos on BET feature light-skinned or dark-skinned models, or if all of the current female singers and performers have straight hair past their behinds. My prayer is that she walks around as if she has set the new standard of beauty. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want her to have a cocky attitude, just a deep love of God and all the gifts and beauty that he has given her.
You may ask, why am I sharing this right now? Well ladies, we all know that all of us were not raised to love ourselves for who we are, no matter what we are. Of course, some of us were, but I want to address those who were not right now. I just want you to know, that even if you were not given the tools of a high self-esteem and self-confidence when growing up, it is never too late to find or develop these tools for yourself. And more important than that, if you are a mother, aunt or grandmother to a young child or even a teenager, you have the opportunity to instill this things into that child or teen. Our children need these gifts more than ever, especially our little girls. Please ladies, take the time to give it to them (and yourself). Take care and God Bless!
Originally posted 12/3/07
I have been getting a lot of email inquiries lately regarding how to do and maintain two-strand twists. Here is a breakdown of my two-strand twist technique:
I always do two-strand twists on wet hair. If my hair begins to dry, I keep it wet with a spray bottle.
On short hair, two strand twists can be done by just grabbing and twisting (this also applies to thin hair). Since my hair has been getting longer, I part my hair while twisting.
The key to long lasting twists for me has been ORS Twist and Loc Gel. I apply this to each section of hair (especially the ends), right before twisting the section.
To see my twisting technique, please see my twist and clip video
To maintain twists, I lightly spritz (don’t get them too wet) my twists each night before tying them up with a satin scarf.
If I’ve worn my twists for over two weeks, I gently wash them using conditioner.
I wear my twists up to three weeks. If your twists do not last as long, keep in mind that I have a kinky hair texture, so I don’t get the fuzz like some people get with the looser, curlier hair textures (my little sisters have the fuzzy problem). If you are getting fuzz, you probably will only be able to wear your twists for a few days, but don’t get frustrated. You just get to sport a twist-out sooner!
I hope this breakdown helps!
I had to be somewhere in less than two hours and I was having a “I wish my hair was…” momen
t. You know…”I wish my hair was longer, I wish my hair was curlier, I wish my hair was less curly, I wish my hair was…” (you fill in the blanks). By the way, the “I wish my hair was…” is cousin to “I wish my hair wouldn’t…shrink so much, curl up so much, etc.” And yes, after over five years of being natural, I still have these moments from time to time, so don’t feel bad if you are just starting your natural hair journey and you are having them.
It has been a while, but I am posting to announce that I am relaunching my archived Val & Nadine comic strips on this website. For those who do not already know, Val & Nadine is a comic strip I started back in November of 2005. The comic was initially created with those wearing their natural hair or transitioning to natural hair in mind, but addressed all sorts of issues.
